A Word of Advice to the Girls with Baby Fever

To all of you young girls between sixteen and twenty-two that are so in love with babies and just “need” one NOW….get a job in a nursery and buy a chastity belt because I promise you having a baby is NOT what you think it is.

Take it from the girl who has had a total passion for kids for as long as she can remember. All those precious bundles of joy you cuddle and coo over have one thing that your own baby won’t. They are all RETURNABLE. Play with them, cuddle them, kiss them, pinch their chubby little cheeks, then you can return them to their parents. You can’t do that with your own baby. Nope sorry honey no returns accepted. 

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE my son and I wouldn’t trade him or take back having him for all the money in the world. But I do think I should’ve waited to have him. Twenty years old is just too young and immature to be able to make serious decisions that will affect the life of another human being. I mean you can barely even make decisions for yourself at that age. I didn’t know what adult life really was. I didn’t know about the bills, taxes, jobs, and all those other fine print items that grownups deal with. So let me share the things I’ve learned from becoming a young mother.

First off getting pregnant is a REALLY long nine month period of giving up EVERYTHING fun. No more drinks, no more sushi, no bloody steaks, you can’t lift anything heavy, you can’t do certain things, you’re always tired, you have to pee, and you sweat like crazy. Not to mention all those adorable size 1 clothes don’t fit, and they just don’t make them in pregnant girl size

Post-baby is even worse. Your fat, your tired, your hair is a mess, makeup doesn’t exist, you stink like baby poo and spit up, you have stretch marks on all your best features, did I mention how tired you are? All those late night bonfires and movie outings are gone for good. That size 1 perfect bikini body you had will never be there again thanks to those new hips you’ve acquired. For the rest of your life your first priority is now that adorable bundle that you couldn’t live without.

You think you and your man are still gonna be that giddy madly in love couple you were pre-baby? Nope say goodbye to that too. Now it’s mommy and daddy life where romance is replaced with a peck on the lips and hoping you get lucky enough to sit on the couch and watch an episode of Fast n Loud before you both pass out for the night. Spontaneous dates are replaced with spaghetti and Paw Patrol. And when you do decide to splurge and go on a date you have to find a sitter, pack a diaper bag, think about what time you’ll be back, think about the baby the whole time your gone, and then be too tired to even stay out late. 

There’s constant stress and struggles. You have to work to pay for your house and diapers and other baby things when you’d much rather be enjoying the beautiful weather by the pool, and just when you think you’ve got enough money put away to enjoy a sunny day off your little one is going to get sick or some other unexpected expense is going to come up. Every single time. 

Then those cute sweet smelling babies turn into toddlers real fast. Toddlers are HARD! They’re cutting teeth and exploring freedom. They have tantrums, they demand constant attention, they put everything in their mouths, they play in poop, the break everything. Toddlers are just a different story. They are definitely the sleeping infant that you love to cuddle and hold constantly. 

The fun filled college teenage/young adult years are immediately replaced with a middle-aged working mom life. Parties and cute boys are replaced with diapers and one man for the rest of your life. Teeny crop-tops and shorty shorts are replaced with sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt to hide those flaws you just can’t lose. Motherhood is the greatest thing any WOMAN could ever experience, but it is something to wait for until the time is right. Motherhood is not ideal for GIRLS with baby fever. My advice is to wait. Don’t throw away the fun life you have right now because you have a fetish. Enjoy the babies that other women have, but also live every single fun filled second of your teenage years to the fullest before you decide to reproduce.